The mere act of “deciding” to change a habit is not enough to actually change the habit. Deciding is only the first step. The act of deciding sets in motion a boxing match between your conscious brain and your subconscious brain. You have good intentions behind deciding to eat healthier, to start exercising, to watch less TV, to get more sleep, to spend less time working, stop biting your nails, etc. But, the subconscious brain does not care about the result you seek. It cares about comfort.
As you start changing your behavior to match your new intention, the brain is confused.
Simply put, the subconscious brain (the data-bank that runs in the background) does not like pattern changes. It views any change from the “norm” as being a threat and will do anything to keep you from going in this new direction. In the brains defense – we are the ones that have created this “monster” by habitually doing the same activity over and over, for possibly years and years. The good news is that because we created the habit – we can also change it. Now that you have made a decision to change, get your boxing gloves on because you are about to enter the ring with a very worthy opponent, the confused brain.
The opponent to the change, the confused brain, shows up as the voices in your head that try to convince you that you really do not have to make the change. Voices creeping in reminding you that it’s too hard, that you can’t do it, that it’s not that bad of a habit. The opponent is chanting “go ahead – eat the cheesecake, skip the workout, spend the money. ” These voices are the confused brain seeking comfort by sounding the alarm bells on the unfamiliar behavior.
For all the business peeps – It is the confused brain going through the change management model:
Denial – Maybe I do not need to stop my old habit to get the result I desire.
Resistance – This is BS! Why does it have to be hard?
Exploration – If this really needs to happen – can I do it in small steps?
Commitment – The end result is worth the effort. Let’s do this!
So – how do you get to the commitment stage? How do you win this fight?
Why + Story + Identity + Consistency + Patience + Strategy.
These six important ingredients live in the conscious brain. The part of the brain that WE control. The place you go when you hear the little voices – the monster – the opponent – ready to take you down.
Why – Get clear. Why do you want to make this change? How will your life be different 6 months from now when you make this change? What will this give you NOW? Who else will benefit from you making this change?
Story – I can do this! I want this! This is important!
Identity – Who you need to be while going through the change management process. What following “I am” determines where you will be 3, 6 12 months from now.
I am the kind of person who sets a goal and see’s it through till the end.
I am the kind of person who will beat this opponent.
I am a health nut, therefore I eat what a health nut would eat.
I am strong, capable, and committed!
Consistency is KING! To turn the opponent into an ally, you must prove you are serious about making this change. The more consistency you have in exhibiting the new behavior the weaker the opponent gets. It takes most people 67 days of consistency to completely whip out the opponent and create a new habit.
Patience in the results – You must have a reasonable expectation on when you will start to see results from the consistent behavior. Instant gratification is what most people seek and in the absence of it people give up and the opponent wins. When you find yourself knocked down in the ring and the referee starts counting – Remember your WHY and remember who you are (Identity)! This will give you the strength to get back up before the ref gets to 10.
Have a flexible strategy –We will always get a result from our behavior. If the result is not being met with reasonable expectation – change it up. If you are overwhelmed – scale back. Find what works for you. But do NOT stop. Consistency is still KING even if you scale back.
Reaching your goal will feel great but what will feel even more is the person you become in the process.
If you want to get serious about breaking a habit, checkout my Habit Slayers coaching. Here is to all the future World Champions! You got this!