Creating a new habit or changing an old one such as eating healthier, joining a gym, ditching the vape or cigarette, spending less, etc, isn’t an easy task. Anyone who has tried knows it can be a frustrating process. And the more times you try and fail – the more your self-esteem is affected. As a coach who is an expert in habit change, I know the importance of setting realistic expectations with my clients as they begin the journey of habit change.
It takes 90 days of consistency so that the brain can create new neuropathways towards the new behavior. Once this neuropathway is formed – you must stay consistent in the new pattern or the neuropathway will rest itself and you will need to go through the 90 days process all over again.
Here is what you can expect as you go through your habit change journey.
First 30 days: The most challenging
- Minor relapsing
- Self-Doubt kicks in because of the minor relapses
- Low energy due to the mental challenge in staying consistent in the new behavior.
At this stage, your brain is giving off strong urges to relapse into old behaviors. It does this because the job of the brain is to keep you safe. “Safe” to the brain is any behavior that you have done consistently over time. The brain does not judge if the behavior is good or bad. It only notices if the pattern of behavior is broken. The brain is like a command center. Once it notices you are exhibiting a behavior it doesn’t recognize – it hits the “Urge” button to get you back on track. Do not judge yourself for randomly going back to the old behavior (skipping the gym, smoking, eating the cheesecake) because this is expected in the first 30 days. The most important thing during this state is that you limit the times in which you relapse and keep your mind focused on getting back on track.
Next 30 Days: Getting stronger
- Less relapsing
- Urges still exist
- Less self doubt
- Feels easier to stick to the habit more than the first 30 days.
As you enter month two of your habit change, you must commit to not giving in to the urges as much as you did in the first 30 days. Raise your standards. Commit more time to distracting yourself from urges so that the brain can feel your seriousness around making this change. New neuropathways are only created when we are consistent with a new behavior for at least 90 days. Therefore, this month is time to take things more seriously.
Last 30 Days: The Knockout Round
- Minimal urges (Note: Urge may always exist to some degree)
- More energy because you are not using as much mental energy to stay consistent in the new behavior
- Feeling more confident
You are entering your final month of consistency. If you put everything you have into this month – by the end of it, you will have successfully created a new neuropathway that will make it easy for you to live within your new habit with confidence. This does not mean that you will never relapse. It simply means that you will live in your new behavior most of the time while allowing yourself to relapse into an old behavior minimally.
Tips Along the 90 Day Habit Change Journey
I suggest keeping a journal as you go through the habit change journey. Use a scale of 1-10 to track things like:
- Energy level
- Self-Doubt level
- Urge frequency
- Confidence level
Additionally, journal about why it is is important for you to make this change. When you feel like giving up – read this page of the journal before making your decision. Your psychology throughout this process is just as important, if not more important than the strategy.
Coming in Feb 2022 – Join Habit Slayers Group Coaching where you will join others who are going through the process of habit change. I will teach in more detail how the brain works as you go through creating new patterns so that you can go from “I can’t” to “I did!”
P.S. If you can’t wait until then, you can start this coaching now through my self-paced Habit Slayers online coaching option.
Your Life Coach – Traci