When it comes to the motivation in changing habits or creating new ones your brain will never be your biggest cheerleader. Instead, your brain will be the troublemaker mascot that taunts and teases you until you fail. The brain will do whatever it can to keep you in the same habit – whether good or bad – because the brain does not like change. So, while you may have all desire to make habit changes, as soon as you start you get urges to fall back into the old pattern. Sound familiar?
If the brain gets these urges, how do you win this battle between your desire to change a habit and the pushback from the brain?
Here’s how to handle the urges to give in and not keep motivated
The subconscious brain is driven by two main factors, avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. This is what causes procrastination and what also causes you to go backward in achieving your habit change goals because your brain automatically views “change” as painful. Since the brain is driven by these two powerful drivers, you can utilize them to your advantage by using your conscious brain (the part of the brain where YOU control the thoughts) to find out which you are more motivated by – Pain of not changing or the pleasure of what changing will give you. Once you know that, you can consistently remind yourself of it before you relapse into the old habit.
How to tell if you are motivated by pain or pleasure
Think of a habit that you would like to change or create and then answer these questions about pain:
- What will it mean to me if I do not change this habit within the next year?
- What emotional or physical state will I be in one year from now if I do not make this change?
- Who else is negatively impacted by me not making this change? How have they been impacted?
- What has this already cost me?
- How is this bad habit incongruent with the kind of person I want to be?
Now, think about that same habit and answer these questions about pleasure:
- What would it mean to successfully change this habit?
- What emotional or physical state will I be in when I do make this change?
- Who will benefit from me making this change? How will they benefit from it?
- Who do I become as a result of changing this habit?
- What am I capable of after successfully changing this habit?
Which set of questions was more impactful to you? There is no wrong answer. Whether your
motivation is found in the pain of not changing or the pleasure of what changing will give you, use the answers you gave as your leverage to keep going as your subconscious brain fights you to stay the same.
How to use your pain or pleasure for motivation
Have either the pain or pleasure answers somewhere you can see them every day. Write them on your bathroom mirror with dry erase. Make a phone wallpaper. Hang it on your fridge. Put it everywhere.
Also, use visualization. Close your eyes and visualize your life in this scenario. Really focus on you and your life as if this habit change has happened.
Share your answers with someone. Accountability and support are crucial. If you can’t think of someone, come to the age slayers group and share it on this post!
After you remain consistent in the new behavior for 67-90 days, you will have trained the brain to no longer taunt you and keep motivated! You have a new cheerleader in your squad.