I am visiting friends in California but staying at a hotel so that we can still socially distance. This morning I decided to go for a walk. I knew the area I was in was gorgeous and I wanted to see more. As I walked down the sidewalk, there were several joggers and people wandering. The hotel is next to a long row of apartment/condo complexes. The sun was so bright, and the weather was perfect – 70 degrees. Thinking about flying back to Iowa where it is getting colder and colder made me enjoy this beautiful walk even more.
I did not know where I was going. I just kept walking. For a moment I thought to myself, “Pay attention Traci!” Because I am easily the one who loses her car in a parking lot because I am not paying attention. But the more I “paid attention”, the less I was enjoying my walk. I decided to not pay attention and let the uncertainty of the destination be ok.
Wherever I end up – I will be ok.
I walked about .5 miles up and around all the apartment/condo’s and eventually took some steps that lead to another sidewalk in between the buildings. It looked like a nice pathway and I was curious about it so I went with it. Again, embracing uncertainty about where it would lead. About 5 minutes later the pathway ended at what appeared to be a look out site. So – I looked out! I was overlooking the entire city. I saw mountains across the horizon, a golf course, beautiful houses, and more palm trees. It was such a peaceful site. I stayed there for a while taking it all in. I couldn’t believe this walk landed me here.
It occurred to me that had I set a destination for this walk – maybe to end up at a park, or a store, or a coffee shop that I would not have found this gem of a view. I only found it because I embraced the uncertainty while also trusting myself that I’d be ok no matter where I ended up. (Watch my Facebook Live at Traci Lynn Life Coaching to see the view.)
Uncertainty can feel uncomfortable.
I know because I have had many situations in my life that were very uncertain. When the relationship with my ex-husband was ending, we were still living in California. I did not know how I would get home. It’s expensive to move from Cali back to Iowa. I did not know where I would live or if my job would transfer me or how my daughter would be affected. I was fearful but embraced the uncertainty because I knew I could trust myself to handle anything that happened.
When my 25-year corporate job moved to Arizona, I lost my job. I could have applied for another position within the company and more than likely gotten it. But by that time, I was already a part time Life Coach. I also was given a nice severance package in which I did not have to work for quite some time. The dilemma – do I go for the “for sure” job and have certainty that the income and health insurance stayed in tack or take this time to grow my business and see where it goes? The uncertainty of me be solely responsible for my own income was terrifying! But, although I was fearful, I embraced the uncertainty and knew I could trust myself to handle anything that happened.
When I started dating again after my divorce, the first boy I met I was almost certain it wasn’t going to last. I thought he was too good for me. I was still reeling from a 7-year relationship where I felt like I was the reason for all of his problems. He never missed a chance to tell me that, so my self esteem was a little rocky. But I decided that I was going to date this new guy for as long as I could before he broke up with me. Although I was fearful of that happening, I embraced the uncertainty because I knew I could trust myself to handle anything that happened.
Are you seeing a trend in my experiences?
In each of the events I was afraid of the uncertainty, but I trusted myself. I did not have a crystal ball to show me where my career would end up, where my life post-divorce would end up or how my first post-divorce relationship would end up. But I did it anyway. And because of that I landed my dream job 10 months after leaving corporate America, settled in nicely to a new life post-divorce and am still dating the guy that is still way to good for me – 14 years later.
If you are the kind of person that MUST know where you will end up before you take a chance on finding a new job, ending or starting a new relationship, moving to a new place, starting over, etc… – you will likely just waste precious time and be in the same spot you are in now years later.
Dreams and opportunities do not live in the place of certainty. It only lives in the uncertainty. The path to your destiny does not always have a well-marked road map with GPS telling you when you need to “recalculate”. But that does not mean you will not reach your destination. Sometimes the best destinations are those that were not planned. All you need is to trust yourself that whatever happens you will be ok because if there is one thing you can find certainty in – it is YOU. And when you have certainty in yourself, you will likely find more beautiful, unexpected views then you ever imagined.
Your Life Coach – Traci