My last blog was about how to stop being a complainer. Today’s blog is about how to keep your sanity when you have friends, family or coworkers that are chronic complainers. Being around chronic complainers can be a draggggg. They can take your positive mood from a level 10 to a level 2 in one conversation. Have you ever felt this?
The good news is there are ways to manage your sanity when around them. That’s right, you do not need to be a victim to the negativity any longer! If you find yourself feeling sad, annoyed frustrated or drained after interactions with certain people because of their complaining – you need the 3 steps below.
3 ways to manage your sanity when around a complainer:
1. Set your expectations accordingly.
If you know they are a chronic complainer – expect it. We can’t always help or avoid being around them, especially if they are our partners, family or coworkers. Instead of hoping they will change – accept them as they are and expect most conversations to be one that involves negativity. When you are in denial and think that maybe overnight, they will magically be bitten by the “Positivity Bug”, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. Before being in their presence put on your shield of armor. Expect that the negativity is going to flow and when it does, allow it to bounce off and land back on them.
2. Stop being the fixer of their complaints.
People who are chronic complainers are doing it because it is giving them something. They may feel in control, feel significant, or feel as if complaining protects them from something. They are not interested in a solution. They only want someone to listen to them so that they can get their needs met. The more you listen and not fix – the better YOU will feel by not putting energy into it.
3.Do not fall into their trap.
Complainers LOVE to be around people who will complain with them. Do not agree with or validate their chronic complaining unless you want them to continuously pick you as their sounding board all the time. Instead – act uninterested. Look around you and not at the person directly as if you are distracted by something else. You may even tell them you are busy and do not have time for this. Once they realize you are not the person that is going to validate their complaining – they will choose someone else.
Do not allow yourself to be controlled by the chronic complainer in your life. Choose to rise above, stay positive and live your happy life!
Your Life Coach – Traci