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How to Feel Pain & Avoid Suffering

Best Self

24 Aug

Are you finding it more and more challenging to watch the news? Although I am completely addicted to watching the happenings in Afghanistan, if I watch too much at one time, I start to feel mad and then sad and then frustrated and then sad again. I finally turn off the TV and am completely mentally drained. I have no energy and have a hard time getting myself back to a baseline level of happiness or joy. I sometimes feel guilty for being happy in my life when so many people- even American’s – are suffering in Afghanistan. If this is you – please keep reading. If this isn’t you – please keep reading anyway.  

The truth, there will always be “pain” in the world. We simply do not have complete control over events, situations, or people that will cause us pain. Feeling pain is a real human emotion that while is hard to feel, you do not want to talk yourself out of feeling. Some people believe that it’s better to be “strong” as opposed to feeling “pain.” However, allowing yourself to feel pain takes more courage than being the strong one. Pain is natural. Suffering is a choice. 

The difference between pain and suffering

As I stated before – pain is something we cannot avoid. But when we stay in our pain for too long, it eventually leads to suffering. Suffering can lead to depression and anxiety and can affect all areas of your life. When I found myself feeling guilty for being happy in my life, I knew I was heading in the wrong direction. Instead of going into a state of suffering over painful situations – I remembered some tools and did these things instead. 

How to feel pain and avoid suffering

  1. Remember that feeling compassion and empathy are beautiful ways to connect to what is happening in any painful situation. Going to a place of suffering does nothing except add more suffering to the world. 
  2. Use this time to be grateful. We have seen for ourselves the lengths people will go to to have even an ounce of the freedom we have in America. That is not to be taken lightly. 
  3. Watch the news enough to be informed (If you want to) but do not let it consume your whole day. Play with your kids, walk outside, go on a date night, drink wine with friends – LIVE. Because so many others do not have the freedom to do so. 

Reflecting on the magnitude of what is happening in Afghanistan, I am reminded of what REAL tragedy looks like. It’s not the pizza delivery guy being 30 minutes late, the meeting at work that got scheduled at the last minute on a Friday, the person who didn’t call you back, the package that wasn’t delivered, the appointment that is running behind, the neighbor who didn’t pick up the dog doo doo off your lawn, etc.#FirstWorldProblems

Choose to be grateful!

Pick your battles. Ask yourself – “Is this REALLY a tragedy?” 

And most importantly do not take anything for granted. Live your life to the fullest BECAUSE so many people can’t.   

Your Life Coach – Traci 

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Traci Lynn Legacy Creator (TLLC) helps Generation X create positive changes in their life as we grow up together. Based in Cedar Falls, Iowa, Traci Butz offers services throughout the United States.

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