Whether you like it or not – you have a story. You have a story that plays in your mind about who you are, what you are capable of, and what defines your place in the world.
You see, we live inside our story but for the most part – we are not aware of it. These can be “good” or “bad” stories depending on how they make you feel and contribute to the world. What you need to be aware of is that stories play such a big part in our lives.
Stories are created at the unconscious level based on experiences we have in our life and then the stories are tied to our identities. When something is tied to our identities, we start using words that reinforce our stories.
I will not find a partner.
I am an emotional eater.
I am not good with money.
I cannot succeed.
I am an angry person.
Disempowering statements like these are examples of stories that are created based on evidence from past behavior. You may believe these statements to be true because of this evidence and then ultimately tie it to who you believe yourself to be. You will continue to to believe these stories until you detach from them to become who you believe yourself to be. So, it is time to bring your story to the surface and face it once and for all.
How do you disengage from a disempowering story?
1. Discover your disempowering story.
List the categories of your life such as health, intimate relationships, career, friendships, emotional mastery (controlling your emotions as opposed to your emotions controlling you), finances, etc. Once you have your list, rate each category based on level of satisfaction on a scale of 1-10 (10 being ultimate satisfaction) .
Which categories do you want to be doing better in?
What is preventing you from being better in those areas now?
Whatever excuse comes up is your story.
For example, if you want to find an intimate relationship but your excuse is that there are not any good single people – that is your story. If you want to be healthier but your excuse is that you cannot control what you eat – that is your story. If you want to be out of debt but your excuse is that you are not good with money – that is your story. These stories are what your unconscious mind believes is true.
2. Create an empowering story and then make it true.
Focus on what it is that you really want and create a story of who you need to be to make it happen. If you want to be healthy – choose more wisely. The first time you choose a healthy alternative over the sugary sweets – you have just proven yourself to be someone that CAN control what you eat! Celebrate this and let your brain know that you are a person that is healthy!
Will it be uncomfortable at first – Hell yes! But it gets easier if you start identifying yourself as someone who follows through. You are creating a new habit.
3. Focus on your goal in this new empowering state every day.
If it is challenging to believe your new story, don’t worry. It’s common for the subconscious to reject a new thought pattern. It is so important to keep pushing though. By staying consistent and creating more and more evidence that you CAN and ARE this person, eventually you will believe yourself. It is so important to create this new identity even if you do not believe it now.
Here are some of the stories I have had in my life:
Old Identity: I am addicted to sugar
New Identity: I am someone who does not let sugar control me
Old Identity: I will not find a healthy relationship
New Identity: A healthy relationship is possible and I will find it!
Old Identity: If I start a business, I will fail
New Identity: If I start a business I will succeed.
Old Identity: I do not fit in
New Identity: I belong.
If you want to learn more about stories and the impact they have in your life read the book from Byron Katie – “Who would you be without your story”.
Change your story.
Crush your goals.
Change your life!
Your Life Coach – Traci