A few years back, I was driving in my hometown when suddenly I looked around and had no idea where I was. I pulled over to the side of the road to get my bearings. Less than five minutes later, I was able to assess where I was and remembered how to get home. Even though it kind of freaked me out, I didn’t feel like it was a significant enough event where I felt it necessary to see a doctor. I brushed it off as a case of brain fog.
Nothing to worry about.
Around that same time, I had a corporate job in which I analyzed reports. One day when looking at the reports I was not able to decipher where the numbers came from and how to analyze them. Another brain fog moment. I had to leave the reports behind and come back to them after I had lunch. Cleary I was dehydrated or just needed to eat to fuel my brain! But when I came back after eating and taking a break, I was still confused.
Days later I was on the phone with my boss when he asked about a project I was working on. It was a standard conversation that we would have to keep him posted on progress. The problem was, I had no idea what he was talking about. He was describing a project that I was completely unfamiliar with. It was not like my boss to be confused about who was working on what. Though confused, I trusted that I was indeed a part of this project and told him I would have to get back to him with the details. This was code for “I’ll get back to you after I research what the hell you are talking about.” Turns out – It was an ongoing project that I was indeed in charge of.
What is going on? This is no longer a case of brain fog.
Piecing together the moment in the car, the reports at work, and now this project, I started to get worried as Dementia runs in my family. Oh God, could this be early onset?
I set up an appointment with my doctor who referred me to a neurologist for further testing. After describing what I was experiencing she quickly had an assessment. Here it comes I thought.
“You are over stressed”. …What?
Over stressed? Are you kidding me?
First of all, I paid to come to a specialist for her to tell me I was over stressed? Second, I did not believe it. It did not make sense. So naturally, I did what any person of average intelligence would do while speaking to someone who had a highly advanced intelligence level. I told her I didn’t believe her.
She gave me options. We could do an MRI or I could get cognitive testing.
I chose the cognitive testing.
In this 3-hour process of cognitive testing, I did several assessments. Some were with word associations such as DOG to BARK and CAT to MEOW. Easy! Each test becoming more and more challenging as we went along. In another test, the facilitator would read a story out loud and I had to repeat it back to her. It went something like “One day a chicken was talking to its red neighbor who laughed at the pig in the purple cat house”. I did not do very well, and I knew that we were finally getting into the testing that was going to prove what I had been expecting – early onset dementia.
I remember the test with the puzzle pieces was the hardest part. I could only put three of the dice shaped puzzle pieces together. At the end of the testing, she told me to repeat the story she told me two hours ago. I could only remember the main characters but not the full story. The test was the most draining experience. After I got home, I took a 2-hour nap to rest my early on set dementia brain.
After a few days, living my life sure I was going to prove the doctor wrong with my dementia diagnoses, the results came back. I went to the neurologist scared and ready for the bad news. How am I going to tell my daughter and my partner, Jeff, this awful news? Will I lose my job? How quickly will I forget everything?
As I stepped into the room the neurologist sat down with the results – looked at me with a slight smile on her face and said “Your results came back normal. You have no cognitive impairments. As a matter of fact – your results came back as above average in some categories”. I was confused and shocked. Finally, I broke my silence, “Tell me more about what you mean about this stress I may be experiencing”.
That was the day that I learned the real power that stress can have on our brains.
The doctor had me do an assessment of the things in my life that I had going on.
- I had just lost a dear friend to breast cancer and was grieving the loss of her every day.
- I had taken on more responsibility at work (aka – the project!) while also attempting to grow my own Life Coaching business on nights and weekends.
- I was a chairperson for my friends benefit which was raising money for cancer survivors to pay for their expenses which was a big responsibility and a lot of work delegating tasks and staying on top of things.
- My daughter was struggling in school both socially and academically which had an incredible impact on me emotionally.
- I had financial stress as my student loans were out of deferment since I completed a master’s degree.
- I used wine and food to get a reprieve from everything which caused me to feel tired and crummy every day.
- Lets also not dismiss that I was in the worse mood ever all the time.
- I had been living life knowing I have early dementia and waiting on the test results to prove it.
- And now – a medical bill for two neurologist visit’s and cognitive testing that was not necessary – ugh.
What does all of this mean though? Why is it that having all these things happening at once can literally make me forget where I am in my own hometown?
She explained that the brain can only take on so many things. Imagine your brain as having compartments and each compartment has a topic. The more topics you have, the larger the compartments get in your brain. But, the brain is only so big so what it does is push out information that it deems as not important such as anything that is not necessary for survival. Like driving, analyzing reports, and projects at work. Additionally – the stress hormone cortisol impacts memory. Here is an article with more information about how stress affects the brain.
In order to fix the forgetfulness, I had to reduce the number of topics I had in each compartment so that the brain could expand to its regular size and reduce the cortisol.
My compartments at the time were labeled:
- Grief
- Cancer benefit
- Work projects
- Coaching biz
- Emotional support for my daughter
- Finances, and
- Stress management that did not include wine and food
From there, I addressed one category at a time by delegating tasks to others. I allowed myself time each morning to grieve for my friend, created a budget plan for the student loans and the doctor bills, spent time with friends, and gave up the wine and food at my stress relievers. Within a week – my brain was back!
Since then, I have only had that experience one other time. Although it was an expensive lesson to learn, I would not take it back. Had I not experienced it myself I would not have believed that stress could affect the brain in that way.
It was also the last time I believed I was smarter than a neurologist.
So, if you can relate to feeling like you have a very full plate, take some time to make a plan to reduce your stress. Maybe you are like me and don’t even realize that you are overly stressed. Chances are with the way 2020 has been, everyone could benefit from working on their stressors.
Also, if you are feeling off, forgetting things, or feel like something isn’t right, please reach out to your doctor for medical advice. My situation isn’t meant to treat or diagnose, it is simply to share that stress can have such a significant impact on your life. You can also reach out to me anytime to talk.
Your Life Coach – Traci