It is nearly impossible to go through life without having an event occur that you’d consider a life-changing experience. Whether it comes out of the blue or if it felt like a slow-moving accident waiting to happen. Some challenges are easy to move on from while others rock your world so much it’s hard to see your way out of the pain. Some challenges can inspire the desire to reinvent yourself. The scenarios may be different, but the remedy is the same. I have three tips on how to navigate your mindset as you go through this journey of transformation from a life-changing experience.
1. Feel what you are feeling in the moment.
Change can bring about a lot of emotions. One minute you may feel sad – the next angry – the next happy. And the rollercoaster goes on and on. Suppressing your anger or frustration will only make things worse. You may feel you want to suppress it because you think you “shouldn’t feel angry.” That is a form of self-judgment that is not going to serve you. You need to feel your feelings. Honoring the feelings in the moment can be therapeutic if done the right way.
Here is how: 90 seconds of Venting & Gratitudes
You can vent it out to yourself or to a friend. The only rule is to not vent for a long time because the longer you vent – the more you will feel the frustration. Think about this. When is the last time you were upset about something? How long did you think about it, tell a friend (or every person you saw that day), and replay it over and over. By the last time you talked about it, it was probably pretty escalated, right? For a healthy balance of emotional release, stick to the 90-second venting/gratitude rule. Say whatever you want about the situation without self-judgment. Get it out there and off of your chest. It is good to let stuff go. After 90 seconds – take a deep breath and find one thing in your life that have gratitude for to help move out of the emotion and into a state of peace.
2. Look for the lesson
One of the best mindset tools to forgive or move on from a life-changing event is to find the lesson or the value in it. I know it can be challenging! And it may take time. Finding the lesson or the value that this event has had in your life does not forgive the situation. It will simply allow for you to reframe it in a way where you can start to find peace with it for YOU.
Here is how: Deep reflection
- If it wasn’t for this situation, I would not have known (fill in the blank) about myself.
- This has inspired me to change (fill in the blank) in my life.
- Because of (fill in the blank), I have gotten closer to the following person/people.
- This has given me an opportunity to grow in the following ways…
3. Reinvent yourself
Life changing events can provide an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Starting fresh can help focus your thoughts towards a new version of yourself, as opposed to feeling stuck in the pain of what used to be.
Here’s how: Reinvention Questions
- What part of my life do I want to redefine or reinvent? (My self esteem, health, mindset, values, priorities, the people I surround myself with, the partners that I pick, people-pleasing, etc.)
- How do I know that part of my life needs redefining?
Make a two-column list. The left-hand column is called “My old life”. List the behaviors, habits, people, beliefs, and routines you want to let go of. The right-hand column is called “The new life”. List the new behaviors, people, beliefs, and routines you’d like to step into, as well as the current routines and behavior’s and beliefs you currently have and want to hold onto because they serve you.
- How will showing up differently change things for me?
- What is the first step I will take towards making these changes?
- What do I have gratitude for in my life right now?
These life-changing experiences do not have to break you. What you focus on will determine how you feel. When you feel like you are drowning – build your own life raft by choosing to not let this situation define you. Instead – use it as leverage to reinvent, refresh, and reignite your life.
If you need help with this, I am always here.
Your Life Coach – Traci